She Wears Black. (A parody of real-life absurdity). Starring Anne Hathaway as Helen Hayes, Pedro Pascal as Thom Amar, and Laurie Metcalf as CIA Director Susan Brantley.
FADE IN: 2.
INT. CIA HEADQUATERS - DAY
THOM, a senior agent in his fifties rides an escalator to the second floor. He notices HELEN bypass
security check on the lower floor, and no one bats an eye, Thom is flabbergasted. He continues on
headed toward a hallway with elevators.
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON Thom's hand reaching for the elevator button, then suddenly someone beats him to it.
ZOOM OUT to reveal it's Helen and she's smiling looking at him, Thom fake smiles back, then
his smile turns into a dirty look. The elevator door opens, and Helen gets on while Thom stays in
the hallway.
THOM
Don't you have any other color suits?
Helen just waves and smiles again as the elevator doors close.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
We see Helen standing at SUSAN'S desk receiving a closed folder from her. There's a knock at the
door, and we see it's Thom barging in. Helen puts the folder in a briefcase and locks it. Helen
makes eye contact with Thom as she slides past him and out the door. Thom sits down in one of the
chairs in front of Susan's desk.
SUSAN
(unflinching stare at Thom)
Helen, leave the door open. What I have to say to Thom is not
private. I would ask you to sit down Agent Amar, but it seems you've
given yourself permission. This is the last time I'll tolerate this.
What is it?
THOM
I don't trust her. Why the impunity? I deserve to know.
SUSAN
I need to make this brief. There are religious implications.
The Vatican is involved. She's working for them and us.
THOM
Who is she?
SUSAN
I like you Thom and I don't like many people. You're a trusted
valuable asset but leave it. If you don't, you're messing up.
Thom rises from the chair.
THOM
It's ok to say fucking up.
SUSAN
Not in my book.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 3.
INT. AGENCY GYM - CONTINUOUS
In a large room full of exercise equipment, we see Helen in an open mat area sparring with two very
skilled fighters trying to get the best of her. Both of the combat TRAINERS attack Helen
simultaneously, but to no avail, Helen dodges and parries their punches, kicks, and attempts at taking
her down to the mat as if she was a ghost, or like the philosophy fighting style of becoming water. The
trainers stop from exhaustion and Helen bows to both women; they respectfully bow back then exit.
Thom finishes up on a punching bag, and hurriedly goes over to Helen.
THOM
Were they the SHEVCHENKO SISTERS? They're the best and
they couldn't even touch you.
HELEN
(smiles after line) (line written by Jules on Bluesky used with permission)
I want to wear other colors besides black, but no I don't.
The sisters went easy on me.
THOM
Helen, whatever you're investigating I can help you
with. Faith based incidents are my specialty.
HELEN
So, Director Brantley told you. We all have something to hide agent
Amar. We have something in common.
THOM
Why would you say that to me?
HELEN
You're the one I'm investigating. Susan trusts you, but I didn't.
Thom is taken aback then his face changes and distorts into immense concern.
THOM
Does she know I'm the one you're...?
HELEN
Yes, and she doesn't like it, but I had to continue until I could
rule you out for certain.
THOM
I'm your number one suspect? You come and go like it's
nothing - breaking every security protocol. Why are you so special?
HELEN
I can't tell you yet, but I can tell you I wear black because it hides the
ripple of the faraday lining.
THOM
I'm an open book, investigate away.
HELEN
Oh, what the hell. You're cleared. I ruled you out this morning. That's
what I showed to the director, that you're not the one. But I could use
your help, if you're interested.
THOM
Of course.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 4.
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Susan sits quietly behind her desk. Gazing, and contemplating. She pushes a button on the in-house
phone line to make a request with her assistant AGENT CAROL WHITTAKER. After a short wait,
connection.
CAROL
Good afternoon, Director Brantley.
SUSAN
Is CARL SANDERS still on the grounds?
CAROL
Yes Ma'am.
SUSAN
Page him for a face to face.
CAROL
Paging.
SUSAN
Thank you, Agent Whittaker. ETA.
CAROL
He's in the hallway now about to knock.
Carl KNOCKS on the Director's door, then enters the room.
SUSAN
Thanks for fulfilling my request. I have a new mission for you.
If you want it.
CARL
I'm free.
SUSAN
Agent Amar and Helen Hayes are now investigative partners.
Surveil them until further notice. The POTUS and I are your only
contact. If the President needs to make a decision on the matter,
everyone else has privilege of ignorance except us here in this room
now. If things go south, the President didn't know, I take the fall, and
you disappear. Perfectly clear?
CARL
Code 52. Perfectly clear Ma'am.
SUSAN
Alrighty then.
CUT TO:
INT. CIA CAFETERIA - CONTINUOUS
Helen and Thom are eating lunch at a table away from everyone's earshot and discuss plans between
bites.
THOM
When are you going to share who your new suspect is?
HELEN
We're going to New York.
THOM
New York? Is that where they are?
HELEN
Not yet, but he will be.
THOM
How can you know that?
HELEN
(points to her temple)
Psychic.
Thom laughs, but Helen stays expressionless, then Thom looks at her seriously.
FADE OUT:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 5.
FADE IN:
EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY
It's a rainy gloomy day, traffic is slow, ZOOM IN on a very nice full-size Sedan where we
see Helen, and Thom turning down a side street of CITY HOMES. The rain tapers off, then suddenly
stops. Helen parallel parks the car in the only open spot on the street. A car with darkened windows
drives past them slowly.
CUT TO:
ANGLE ON Helen and Thom, she is the driver. They talk about the next move.
HELEN
We're in front of Carl's house. He's my new suspect, and this is
a trap for him. He now knows we know so we have to stay on our
A-game. He just drove past us so he's going to wait until we break-in,
then he's going to pretend like he's just coming home for the holidays.
He'll act surprised to see us, ask what we're doing here, then...
THOM
Kill us. Jesus. Carl?
HELEN
What about Jesus? You doubted once, then believed. Do you still?
You've been deliberately kept in the dark by the agency.
Thom stares at Helen now in fear and wonder.
THOM
Who are you?
HELEN
I'm the woman that bleed. I traveled from the distant north to be
healed. To touch the edge of His cloak. Thomas Didymus.
Thom's EYES go wide in the realization of the truth. He reaches for the car's door handle, his hand
shaking and fumbling. Helen gently grabs his forearm to stop him from rushing out. Thom becomes
calm, and solemn.
HELEN
Now you know, you're not alone. I need your help. Carl is one of us,
from that time. But he has someone helping him, someone on the
inside of the agency. Go in with me, I'll protect you, but we need
to stop him before he plans and executes his next delusional one man
mission to start Armageddon. He's manifesting opening the SEALS
from the book of Revelations. Making the fiction a reality.
Thom gets a sparkle of excitement in his eyes.
THOM
I never did solve my last case. A lot of people died, and I really
want to find out if Carl was behind it. Let's go.
They get out of the car, and JOG across the street with urgency. They slow to a WALK as they
go up the STAIRS to Carl's door. Helen pretends to use a key but is picking the lock. A
NEIGHBOR sticks her head out of a window next door and confronts them.
NEIGHBOR
Who are you people?
HELEN
The new house sitters. We're friends, I'm Karen
Abernathey, and this is my husband, John.
NEIGHBOR
Frank's girlfriend was just here last week
checking in on the place.
HELEN
Girlfriend? Oh, look at that we're in. Well Ma'am it was nice
meeting you, goodbye.
Thom gives a courtesy wave as they both go into Carl's home. The neighbor closes her window
frustrated with the pretending couple.
CUT TO:
INT. NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The neighbor turns from the window to see a shadow of a person standing in front of her. It's Carl.
NEIGHBOR
Frank?
Carl KILLS her before she can say another word.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 6.
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
We see Helen and Thom GENTLY searching every nook and cranny, quietly going from room to room
not wanting to disturb things too much, but more in the sense of looking for clues that would lead to
hard evidence.
HELEN
I'm sorry I didn't tell you before today who I am.
THOM
Everyone at the agency knew, but me. Explains a lot. How did they
find you?
HELEN
I went to them. They imprisoned me and interrogated me for
months, but I expected that. I made the sacrifice because I needed a
purpose. Life is nothing without it, and when you're immortal that's
torture. You know. I wondered why Jesus did this to us for almost
two thousand years until one day they...
THOM
Maybe it's this very purpose. For today.
HELEN
Maybe.
Helen reaches in her black blazer pocket for her phone. She answers. They stop searching and sit.
HELEN
Director Brantley.
SUSAN
I'm guessing Carl is on to you two by now.
HELEN
Right on time.
SUSAN
Be careful, he's almost your equal. There's no back up if he gets the
upper hand. This is it and as far as I know he still thinks he's working
for me.
HELEN
You should know his neighbor Karene'd us and she mentioned
Carl's girlfriend was here last week - alias is Frank.
SUSAN
Girlfriend? That's interesting, Whittaker was in New York last week.
Oh no. I have to go she's standing in front of me, they set US up. Ow!
Susan's call hangs up. Helen looks at Thom concerned, shakes her HEAD NO while giving the shush
sign.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 7.
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
We see Agent Carol Whittaker holding a small handheld BLOW DART GUN and Susan holding
her neck, then suddenly collapse behind her desk.
CUT TO:
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Carl enters his home to see Helen and Thom standing at the end of his hallway staring back. Carl
doesn't waste time getting to their loitering space. Now face to face within a couple feet, Carl reads
their eyes.
CARL
Sit. Let's talk.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
We see Carol hovering over Susan as she lays on the ground near her desk incapacitated. Carol
plucks the blow dart from Susan's neck.
CAROL
It's a two-stage poison. First a natural heart attack, then
followed by a long coma. Your heart will be so damaged, your
doctor will have to give your family an ultimatum. Any last words
former Director Brantley.
SUSAN
I'm inoculated!
A team of Agents with weapons drawn suddenly rush through the Director's door and hold
Carol at gunpoint. Susan picks herself up off the floor now hovering over her. Carol is stunned.
SUSAN
Former agent Whittaker.
CUT TO:
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Helen and Thom are still standing with their backs to the door, while Carl is relaxed on his couch.
CARL
Ok, stand. Jesus was a fraud. A conman. THEY did the miracles,
he just went along with it. It's all bullshit. One big fucking experiment.
Jesus isn't coming back. That fantasy short story Revelation makes for
a great blueprint doesn't it though?
THOM
Who's They?
CARL
Helen. He's an agent and you're unsanctioned. Technically he should
know more than you.
HELEN
We privileged him. Thom is more important. He needs to survive.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 8.
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Two nine-foot SHADOW BEINGS GLIDE walk across the room to Susan's desk to talk to her.
Their large dark heads move from side to side, but they don't speak any words aloud. Susan
understands, and speaks aloud back.
SUSAN
She will. Helen is very capable, the very best we've had in our
whole history of existence. If she can't, you have the authorization
to intercede. Ok, bye bye then.
The two shadow beings turn around and glide walk out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The stand-off maintains positions of Carl sitting while Helen and Thom still stand - backs to the door.
THOM
I was there. Jesus was no conman. We're immortal because of HIM.
We're living proof. Who are THEY, Helen?
CARL
Helen?
HELEN
On the Kardashev scale, they're type three. I'm sorry Thom, they
used Jesus as a cover to experiment with their technology. They've
been observing the snowball effects of religion ever since. Selfish
hands-off scientists from a galaxy far away.
CARL
Plausible deniability out the window Thom.
Carl gets up off his couch, tense, serious and alert.
THOM
Jesus may have been used, but His heart was sincere.
We were all used. Jesus was innocent.
CARL
The guilt I feel is a tortuous hell. I could have saved him.
But I made a political choice to save Rome instead. When
I realized I was immortal, I sought answers that never came
until THEY revealed themselves to me shortly after the first
atomic bomb tests.
THOM
(astonished)
Pontius Pilate!
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 9.
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Susan is being tended by the in-house doctor.
DOCTOR
Your vitals look good Ma'am.
SUSAN
Thank you doctor. If you'll excuse me.
The doctor leaves, and Susan picks up her secure line phone on her desk.
SUSAN
Mr. President.
CUT TO:
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
We see Helen in a combat ready stance facing Carl. She waves for Thom to leave. Carl shoots
a blow dart at Thom, but Helen jumps in front of Thom to take the dart. Helen now covering
Thom gets back in her combat stance.
HELEN
Tell your assets to stand down. THEY need this planet. If you
melt it down, they will only rebuild it in their image. There's
still a chance the world can peaceably cooperate with these
advanced beings. How could you kill four billion people when
you feel guilty about one man. Jesus.
CARL
I still believe. I need to know if He'll intervene to stop me.
THOM
You're twisted and delusional!
HELEN
I'll stop you!
Helen drops to the ground with a thud leaving Thom unprotected.
CARL
I thought she might be immune, so I changed up. Check her
pulse.
CUT TO:
____________________________________________________________________________________ 10.
INT. DIRECTOR'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
We see Susan reach for a small device that looks like a miniature smart phone hanging off her lapel.
The device is flashing RED. Susan gets to her desk speaker phone and her voice goes out through the
buildings announcement speakers for all to hear.
SUSAN
(echoing in the rooms and halls of the CIA facility)
Get the shadow bros back in here now!
CUT TO:
INT. CARL'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
We see Thom checking for pulse on Helen's wrist, the dart sticking out of her neck in CLEAR view.
Thom gets into a combat fighting stance. He takes the offensive and attacks Carl. There's a flurry
of kicks and punches exchanged. Carl jumps over the kitchen bar and grabs a cutlery knife from
its holder which makes Thom pause for a moment. Thom draws his gun and points it at Carl.
CARL
If you want the police here, sure go ahead. Killing me won't
stop the opening of the fourth seal, OPERATION PALE HORSE.
THOM
I'm not going to kill you. He won't let me.
A man suddenly appears illuminated by an incredible light encompassing his body almost floating
into Carl's and Thom's presence. Both men lower their weapons, then lay the gun and knife on the
kitchen bar counter. The weapons disappear, including the rest of the knives that remained in the
holder. The illuminated man was dressed in a white cloak, wearing gold sandals, and looked about
the age of 30 or so. Carl falls backwards, but uses a bar stool to catch himself, he stands straight
unable to avert his eyes.
CARL
Lord. I've waited so long to ask you for forgiveness,
face to face in person.
The illuminated man touches Carl's shoulder, and he collapses. Then the GOLD SANDAL man
goes to Helen, touches her shoulder and she wakes up, then slowly rises up off the ground.
The image of the illuminated man begins to transition, morphing into what is Its natural state.
The now nine-foot SHADOW BIENG gazes intently at Helen and Thom, tilts Its head oddly
side to side almost as if It was stretching. Helen and Thom stay locked in while the scientist from
a distant galaxy fades away with the dimming light that surrounded It. Carl's limp body disintegrates
and the former governor of the roman empire is finally no more. Thom goes to the couch and sits down.
Helen follows suit. She sits close next to him.
HELEN
I'm tired. I need a nap.
THOM
Me too. That didn't go like you predicted.
They lay down on the couch together and Helen snuggles in Thom's arms, resting her head on
his chest with a romantic couple vibe about it.
HELEN
I didn't know she gave you a panic button. I'm glad you pushed it,
thank you.
THOM
I love you.
HELEN
One of us is going to have to quit because of policy.
THOM
Not if it's ok with Jesus-shadow alien miracle technology man.
HELEN
(laughs for a brief moment)
That's true.
They both close their eyes and almost immediately go to sleep. Thom snores and wakes up Helen.
She glances at his wide-open mouth then his whole face, then rolls her eyes while smiling. She
gently plops her head back down on his chest and again falls into fast sleep. Thom opens one eye
to look at her, then both eyes to admire her beauty. He kisses her forehead.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
____________________________________________________________________________________
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