NOT THAT WAY! Starring, Patton Oswalt as George, and Meredith Salenger as Maggie, with special appearance by Nic Cage.
FADE IN:
EXT. SNOW MOUNTAIN TRAIL - DAY
AERIAL SHOT over a snowy evergreen tree mountain side. Two hikers decked out in hiking gear
can be seen WALKING and their CRUNCHING sounds on the snow trail are loud, and obvious.
The overcast skies, and fog make the steep drop off parallel to the trail difficult to notice, suddenly
a large dark figure STANDS up at the edge of the cliff near a row of trees, the large creature
scratches its back on the thickest tree, and the branches shake violently. GEORGE, and MAGGIE
stop walking abruptly, and look in the direction of the commotion.
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON Maggie and George, they stay completely still staring with wide eyes at the furry beast
relieving its itch on the bent over tree. ANGLE ON the BEAR, it stops scratching, REVERSE ANGLE
the bear looks at Maggie, and George, then lets out a loud bellow.
GEORGE
(whispering)
Don't move.
Maggie screams, and starts to run down the trail, she stops - kneels down, then drops her backpack
rummages through it, and pulls out a revolver pistol, when she looks up she sees BIGFOOT standing
like a mighty Oak towering over her. Maggie points her gun at the Bigfoot with shaking hands.
The Bigfoot yells in English, and pulls its head off revealing JACK's face. SWISH PAN you can see
the bear running away, and George walking toward Jack and Maggie. PAN with George walking,
and meeting up with Jack, and a now standing Maggie still holding the gun on Jack.
JACK
When did you? I can respect that.
MAGGIE
(exasperated)
You're lucky I didn't shoot you Jack!
GEORGE
(sorrowful)
Sorry Jack. And Maggie I'm...
Maggie storms off frazzled in the direction of the cliff.
MAGGIE
(angrily)
Where is the god damn cabin you assholes?!
GEORGE
[TITLE EXPANDS TO FULL SCREEN/FADES AWAY]
NOT THAT WAY! There's a hundred foot drop off!
JACK
I'm sorry Maggie, it was his idea! The bear was an unfortunate
coincidence, it made an innocent joke worse!
Maggie stops, and turns around.
MAGGIE
Innocent? Fuck off! And after everything that happened before.
I'm freezing. How much further?
Maggie puts the gun in her pant line within easy reach.
GEORGE
Less than a mile.
CROSSFADE:
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THREE WEEKS EARLIER
INT. - CAMPER VAN - DAY
Maggie is sitting at her table sipping coffee, phone in hand. Sights, and sounds of beach surf
waves crashing outside permeates the interior atmosphere.
MAGGIE
Siri call Jack. (Siri's voice: calling Jack)
JACK
What's up Sis?
MAGGIE
Hey Jack, the producer from that cheesy Searching For Bigfoot
series on Prime contacted me, and wants me to be a guest on their
season 3 first episode. I'm kind of interested, can you check him out
for me.
JACK
Sure send me the info, I'll get a hold of him. How are you
doing since your video went viral?
MAGGIE
I'm hiding out on the Oregon coast for the moment.
Have you watched the video?
JACK
Yeah a few times.
MAGGIE
Well what do you think? I thought I was going to die! You
know I didn't believe in Bigfoot until that happened to me.
JACK
Maybe it was someone in a suit being a creep, you know you
shouldn't...(beat) I worry about you doing those videos out in the
woods by yourself, get a dog a large dog or take a friend.
MAGGIE
This George guy, the producer wants to shoot the episode at the
spot it happened, wants to try to capture another sighting for his show,
but not until you see if he's on the up and up for me. Oh, and he
wants to meet, and discuss over coffee, I said not without a friend, he
agreed to bring the anthropologist from his show too.
JACK
Alright Maggie, I'm on it, gotta go, customer just came in
the store, call you back after I talk to that producer.
MAGGIE
Thank you.
Maggie hangs up, and turns to look out the window of her van, she utters a soft sigh, and sips her
coffee. Her eyes well up, and a tear rolls down her cheek.
CUT TO:
INT. - GUN SHOP - CONTINUOUS
A customer is looking at the glass case with rows of varying types of handguns. Jack unlocks the
case, and reaches in to pull one out.
JACK
Check out this triple action revolver with pearl inlay grip,
beauty.
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END OPENING SCENES.
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